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Super Villians

While preparing for the role of soul-sucking Akiimu the Great, I have found myself contemplating the thick murky soup of evil. Evil ‘Super’ Villains like Dark Lords, Vampires, Demons, and the author of the Da Vinci Code. What makes you tick Evil thing? Were you turned over to the dark side or did you choose it?

And so I ask you to help me solve this most pertinent question:

Who is the most Evil?

Lord Voldemort
Professor Snape
the “Others”
Sauron
bad aliens (in general)
bad machines (like PCs or terminators, in general)
Cylons
Darth Vader
Gargamel
Skeletor
Lex Luthor
Akasha
Wolfram and Heart
Angelus
the Mayor
the “First”
Tony Soprano
Arvin Sloan
Sherry Palmer
Rasputin
Teri Hatcher
__________ (insert evil villain here)

Acting in Vancouver

For Monday’s audition I must transform myself into a girl who has had her soul displaced by "Akiimu", an ancient Babylonian spirit who wreaks havoc and murder wherever she goes. Apparently, ol' Akiimu likes to hang out at sweet bars, make out with biker dudes, and dance to cheesy power ballads. There really is no accounting for taste.

Glitter is gold

I admit it. I love Christmas. I just can't get enough shiny, sparkly, glittery things. I think I'm withdrawing from my figure skating days. -- on my dress, in my hair, on my eye lashes, on my finger nails... glitter, sequins, rhinestones, crystals... more, more, more! Make me shine like the star that I am!

And who doesn't love sequins? I'll tell you who doesn't. The girl who skates after you in the wake of your sequin parade. There is nothing more spectacular (I mean horrifying) than your main competition stumbling over your left-over sparkles. Oh no! Oooh! Ouch. Poor thing. I hope that fall won't effect her over-all standings. Off the medal podium? Aww, what a shame!

The Sequin Splat. If it doesn't happen to you, it's a good thing.

A year and a bit in review (part two)

Spring Trip 2006 to Varadero, Cuba.

Sally-ann's bird watching

I interrupt this stunning montage for another fabulous 'glogger', Sally-ann. I think we can all learn something "precious" from Sally-ann.

A year and a bit in review (part one)

August 2005: Ry and I moved to Vancouver. Here are some pictures of our apartment in Coal Harbour right by Stanley Park.

The 'Magic' of Student Films

This summer, at the urging of my agent for more on-set experience, I auditioned for the lead in a student film. After two call-backs, I was cast as "Clara" a quirky, yet loving waitress who comes between two men. Original? Absolutely. I was feeling uninspired going into the project, but the director seemed focused on setting the bar high. He cited Krzysztof Kieslowski's "Blue" and Michel Gondry's "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" as inspirations for this film. Sounds good? Sure does. And it was, until I found out that we were shooting the majority of the "bar scenes" at a derelique strip club. Oh yes.


Nevertheless, I trucked on and showed up at 6am each day for the duration of the 5-day shoot. I cannot express the wealth of knowledge I accumulated from being a part of such a well-run movie making machine. I will not even try to explain my personal transformation. Perhaps I could quote an old Mariah Carey song instead… “spread your wings and prepare to fly, for you have become a butterfly, oh fly...” Oh sorry, that’s a bit too much. What I will do instead, is let you in on some of the magical movie moments which transpired. You see, in an effort to preserve the 'magic', I transcribed (word for word) some of the on-set conversations I witnessed. And now, because of the miracle of the blog, the magic shall pass to you.
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Day One:

Fat ‘actor’ guy: You know what would suck… (pause - deep in thought) you’re walking on the beach and you find a HUGE chest of gold

Surfer ‘prop’ guy: Yah, totally.

Fat guy: I mean how would you carry it? Gold is SUPER heavy –

Surfer guy: Yah, totally, like a bar of gold is so errrg (makes a zombie motion with arms).

Fat guy: -- yah just like a camera case full of it would, like, wrench my arm. I think I’d just find a way, I dunno, (pause) I’d find a way (pause) to like strap it to myself—

Surfer guy: Huh huh, yah, like stuff it in my clothes until I couldn’t fit any more – I’d be like whoa whoa (motions with arms)

Fat guy: I wonder what a good cover story would be (dead serious)

Surfer guy: Yeah, I dunno (pause). You could say it was fake gold, like for a movie or something, or maybe pretend you’re working on a movie –

Fat guy: -- yeah that’s a plan (hand motion “guns”) but wouldn’t they notice that you had all this gold strapped to your body

Surfer guy: Oh yeah… (pause). Sucks.
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Day Two:

Boom girl: I’m so sleepy I could just…. ahh the sun is so nice… nice.. sleepy.. oh! I totally had to most weirdest creepiest dream. It was you, me, Jessie, Sam, Susan, Carrie, and Dave and we were all in a closet, but because we were fighting a war, you know, with the outside world, or something, we couldn’t get out and Dave was super pale, like dying or something, and you were off somewhere --

Surfer guy: Oh cool!

Fat guy: That’s so freaky.

Boom girl: -- and then you and me had to babysit for these kids, like twenty of them and most of them were Siamese twins –

Surfer guy: Weird!!

Boom girl: I know!!

Fat guy: That’s SO freaky

Boom girl: --and dave was so pale, I was sure he was dead or something --

Surfer guy: A ZOMBIE… errrgg… (mimics a zombie)

Boom girl: -- so then we –

Surfer guy: I can, like control my dreams. It’s almost like I’m awake. But I heard somewhere that even if you can control you’re dreams you shouldn’t, cuz it’s like bad for you (pause) your health.

Boom girl: -- oh totally, so the Siamese twins had a really big head … uh heads –

Surfer guy: -- when I was 15, I use to sit in school with my eyes WIDE open, like this (pulls open his squinty eyes) but I’d be dreaming about all kinds of things.
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Day Three:

The crew, bored with making the movie on this hot, summer day, has started a “hacky sack” game. Only their hacky sack is a ball made out of electrical tape and their hacky sacking is actually just throwing the ball to each other. They seem amused by this. This scene takes us to the first throw of this thrilling game.

Surfer guy: HORSE! (throws tape at boom girl – still holding boom)

Boom girl: what?

Surfer guy: oh sorry, I’m from the States.

Boom girl: oh yeah. Here we call it “SHUCK”.
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Day Four:

The AD is the hugest dork I have ever seen. Stringy hair tied back in a haphazard ponytail with a full ugly patchy beard. Here’s the clincher, he’s wearing a Walmart special Superman shirt. It is so big and ill-fitted. His skinny, clammy body just hangs inside it like a hammock. Besides being the first AD (read: PA) he is also the “On-set Safety Supervisor”. Each day before shooting, he takes a moment to review some important on-set safety issues.

Superman: Hey, Hi! Hey! (awkward silence). So now that we’ve got everyone here, actors, extras and crew (pause) well we are still waiting on a few anyway (frustrated pause). Before we begin today I’d like to go through some important safety notices which are really important when we’re all on set like this. First, does everyone have a water bottle? (holds up Exhibit A water bottle) Well, everyone should get one from –

Craft service girl: -- Hey, hey! (waves arms to grab attention) We have NO water bottles left. NONE (yelling) Yesterday (glare) those of you who were on set (glare) (20+ people in 30 degree heat for 9 hours) took all the bottles we had for the entire shoot (12 small bottles). I am very disappointed in you. So now you’ll all have to use paper cups and drink tap water, because that’s what you get!

Superman: (nervous laugh) Ahem, well dehydration is an issue, so maybe those of you without a water bottle should make a trip to the corner store.

Surfer guy: Yah there’s a Starbucks, so you can get some coffee

Boom girl: Oh yeah, I love coffee. Weeee! Caffine! Caffine! (she can’t really control the volume of her voice)

Superman: Bad idea! (shut down) (pause) (nervous giggle) Coffee is REALLY bad for dehydration, I mean coffee is about the opposite of water.
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Day Five:

I’ve just walked into the derelique strip club we are filming in. It’s early and I’m tired. I walk in and put my bag down. Suddenly I notice a small Asian girl with very large glasses, dressed in baggy white sweatpant suit with brand new tennis shoes, standing right in front of me.

Extra girl: Hi!

Me: Hey (avoid avoid)

Extra girl: Hi, I’m Sonny. I’m in Class 101 (reaches forward to shake my hand)

Me: Hey. (avoid eye contact)

Extra girl: Who are you?

Me: I’m Lisa – I’m playing Clara in the production.

Extra girl: I’m just Sonny. (dead serious)

Vanity of the Blog

I said I wouldn't do it... the vanity of the blog -- the personal photo montage. Oh, the very words sting my precious modesty. But people keep asking me for "photos" and what can I do? I am nothing if not extremely giving to my fan(s). So I will put up some photos, but there will be no montage of any kind. Here are some screen caps from my first official acting gig on CTV's "Whistler" where I played the part of a strong, independent woman looking for love and redemption (either that or a hooker).

In a matter of days

Self-discovery through personal labels

Coming up with a label is an important step in your personal self-discovery.

Throughout my young life, I have struggled with personal labels. In high school I was smart and I played the flute in band. People liked the labels “nerd” or “geek”, I liked the label “gifted”. In my university years, family members and government organizations used the “student” label a lot. And I liked that since I got free money, medical coverage, and loving support. The “student” label did all the things a good label should do. It was very general and made people think that I was doing something meaningful with my life. And what is more meaningful than Russian cinema? Absolutely nothing.

The downside to the “student” label is that it has an approximate shelf-life of about 4 years or about $20,000. After that, no one will be impressed with that label. At this point, you may want to slap on another descriptor label like “grad” to your “student” label. “Grad student”. Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? It certainly does. “Grad student” will extend your “student” shelf-life another two years, but be careful where you use it. In the company of grown-up working folks with “real” jobs, “real world” experience, and “real” problems, the “grad student” label may incur a whole lot of nasty questions. If you’re like me, you probably want to avoid those zingers. Ouch. The best way to deal with the working proletariat is to put them in their place. Try the superior labels such as, “scholar” or “academic” in the same sentence as “saving the world” or “bettering our society” and watch the zing deflect. How do like that? That’s what I thought.

After you are finished “saving the world” for a few more years you may feel a great loss as you say good-bye to the “student” label. If you are like me, you may have totally burnt out from writing your thesis in a month and come to the painful realization that your contribution in the betterment of the world will probably end up in the recycling bin (which is better than the garbage because at least you are saving trees and trees help us breathe = saving the world. So it all works out. Right?)

Concluding thoughts: Before you embark on a new chapter in your life it is important to redefine yourself.
You are your label and when you lose your label you are nothing but an individual. And that idea sickens me.

Coming soon: 5 easy steps to make your own label

Mindy's Self-Actualization

My blog is becoming so popular (kudos to me) that I have people literally begging to be a guest blogger. My first 'glogger' is my bff Mindy. Mindy is a totally wicked girl that I bonded with at my hot sweat yoga class in Kits ("girl, i feel the heat!"). We became fast friends over some really crazy “single and fabulous” girls’ nights at the Milestones (“I think I’ve had one too many cosmos!! LOL) Anyway, you get the picture.

Mindy is a super successful fashion consultant who is currently designing her own organic hemp fashion line for dogs called Pampered Poochies (sooo cute). She is an expert on self-actualization and Oprah. Basically, she’s my own personal Dr. Phil (love him). With that said, I present my blog’s first glogger Mindy:

Hey blog world it’s Mindy!

I’m so excited to be on a blog. Yay!! Thanks for having me! The reason I wanted to be a part of this blog is because I really wanted to get my voice out and share some of my experiences with everyone this holiday season. I know the holidays can be hard for people, even a super successful fashion consultant/designer (yes, it’s true!) Reflecting on the year that has passed is full of humility and reflection. When I reflect on my last year I think, “phew, you made it girl” and “I can’t believe that happened to me” and “wow, that’s great”. Those are just some of the things that come to mind. When I have my yearly “reflection” I always write a list of resolutions to help me become a better person. I want to share my resolutions with you in the hopes that they will inspire you to become a better person.

Mindy’s 2007 Resolutions

1. Recycle more
2. Build indoor micro-organic sunflower farm and make sunflower oil
3. Stop drinking so many lattes
4. Stop drinking so many martinis
5. Go to gym more
6. Lose 10 pounds
7. Find the perfect guy (I know he’s out there!!)
8. Buy sexy underwear
9. Wax bikini line every two weeks
10. Read Cosmo’s sex tips
11. Start going to Cactus Club after work
12. Read "He's just not that into you" AGAIN
13. Get married!! (You're almost 30!!)
14. Read all of Oprah’s Book Club books
15. Start going to yoga EVERYDAY
16. Buy new lululemon yoga outfit (pink or baby blue)
17. Self-actualize!
18. Spend more time with the girls
19. Spend more time running, instead of eating
20. I like pink things